Consumed, obsessed, and completely focused on one thing in my daughters life...her eating. I know this, I am aware of it, not oblivious as some people may think, and they get annoyed or think they have the simple solution...People don't understand that when I say, Anna doesn't eat, that I really mean...she doesn't eat. Four chex pieces, a cracker and qtr cup of Cheerios in a day, plus her bottles is not enough...
I am sad that when I am asked how Anna is doing, the first answer I respond with is how much she drank that day...how much she ate or how much she lost or gained on her weight, but it really is my life....
I neglect to say that she has now accomplished doing somersaults, or that she tries so hard to jump, or that she can turn on the tv, or lights, or play with the iPad quite efficiently. I forget to add that she was able to play in the snow for the first time, or that she now can do multiple sign language signs. I also forget to add that she is talking, many words she is trying so hard to pronounce and get us to understand. Her big accomplishments were holding and asking for her bottle as well as sleeping through the night, mostly, sometimes with a little reassurement that she's not alone. She runs, climbs and spins herself faster than any little one I've ever seen.
Somedays I feel like the eating issues are so overwhelming that I have forgotten to see all the other amazing things she has accomplished. I sat changing her diaper, with her legs dropped to the side like a frog, and remember how not too much in the distant past, that was impossible for her to do. That her legs were so hypertonic that Drs. decided to do ultrasounds of her hips suspecting hip displasia, and possible CP. As I am writing, she comes over to remind me that she loves to play toss the ball and I stop for a time to roll the ball back and forth with her.
Books are her obsession, she loves books to look at, listen to and unfortunately to eat. She also loves balls, any size, color and texture. Her smile is infectious, as well as her giggle. I have never seen anyone not happy when they see her light up with excitement. She loves to go for walks in the stroller, something that took a long time for her to get used to. Water can calm her and she would probably stay in a tub until it was ice cold and she was water logged if possible. Another new thing she has discovered is shadows and she loves making hand gestures on the wall.
At almost 2 years old, actual, I am mesmerized by my little one. Some things I wished for her have not happened just yet, but others I didn't expect have amazed me. I still see her scars, they will always be in my mind, even with her clothes on, but I'm not so saddened by them anymore, well, not as much at least. They are constant reminders of her suffering and not being able to comfort her was a hard time for me as a mommy, but I am trying to adjust to that. She does let me hug her now, and that lets me know, she is ok. She is happy, she is healthy, except for her weight, and she is thriving and growing in her abilities and skills...I am so very proud of her and will always Bless the day I set eyes on my little wonderful treasure...Tiny but Mighty!
I am sad that when I am asked how Anna is doing, the first answer I respond with is how much she drank that day...how much she ate or how much she lost or gained on her weight, but it really is my life....
I neglect to say that she has now accomplished doing somersaults, or that she tries so hard to jump, or that she can turn on the tv, or lights, or play with the iPad quite efficiently. I forget to add that she was able to play in the snow for the first time, or that she now can do multiple sign language signs. I also forget to add that she is talking, many words she is trying so hard to pronounce and get us to understand. Her big accomplishments were holding and asking for her bottle as well as sleeping through the night, mostly, sometimes with a little reassurement that she's not alone. She runs, climbs and spins herself faster than any little one I've ever seen.
Somedays I feel like the eating issues are so overwhelming that I have forgotten to see all the other amazing things she has accomplished. I sat changing her diaper, with her legs dropped to the side like a frog, and remember how not too much in the distant past, that was impossible for her to do. That her legs were so hypertonic that Drs. decided to do ultrasounds of her hips suspecting hip displasia, and possible CP. As I am writing, she comes over to remind me that she loves to play toss the ball and I stop for a time to roll the ball back and forth with her.
Books are her obsession, she loves books to look at, listen to and unfortunately to eat. She also loves balls, any size, color and texture. Her smile is infectious, as well as her giggle. I have never seen anyone not happy when they see her light up with excitement. She loves to go for walks in the stroller, something that took a long time for her to get used to. Water can calm her and she would probably stay in a tub until it was ice cold and she was water logged if possible. Another new thing she has discovered is shadows and she loves making hand gestures on the wall.
At almost 2 years old, actual, I am mesmerized by my little one. Some things I wished for her have not happened just yet, but others I didn't expect have amazed me. I still see her scars, they will always be in my mind, even with her clothes on, but I'm not so saddened by them anymore, well, not as much at least. They are constant reminders of her suffering and not being able to comfort her was a hard time for me as a mommy, but I am trying to adjust to that. She does let me hug her now, and that lets me know, she is ok. She is happy, she is healthy, except for her weight, and she is thriving and growing in her abilities and skills...I am so very proud of her and will always Bless the day I set eyes on my little wonderful treasure...Tiny but Mighty!